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We were robbed. Robbed of our safety. Robbed of our livelihood. Robbed of our sanctity. Regardless of the steps we took, intend to take, believe we could of and should have taken,… we were robbed. Devastation, anger, frustration, confusion and abandonment rebound amongst themselves in our thoughts. Where is our hero? Certainly he/she is not evidenced in our Police, not in our community and most of all not in our own hearts.
I am the father in this dastardly tale. 41 years old and all that I have known in all of my life is security. Security in knowing that I, and those that I consider dear are safe in my company. Large and in charge with the strength of ten in my heart and soul I plunder forward with the optimism of the ages in my heart. I have seen heartbreak and loss and the true sense of faith in all of my efforts. Now I see desperation. I see pain. Hope is an afterthought… a dream conjured of malcontents and soothsayers,… dependent on naivety to flourish in the face of clear and evident disaster
Why do walls form? I will tell you why as clear as day. Despicable behavior brought on by a lack of faith, a clear sense of desperation and no clear path to opportunity and success. Our leadership has failed in all regards and our only offers come in the form of limited financial gestures from a government so over laden in superfluous gratuity and shallow commitment that only a fool would regard this as any sort of step towards confidence in our future.
Breaking a person is easy if they are breakable. Breaking the breakable is simple when it is simply a matter of challenge. In retrospect, and as others should be aware and will sooner, or later, be aware… peril is eminent if not upon us. We all believe either in God or that fate will bring us to the place we are meant to be. We all follow our instincts. This is whether it is based on our experience, our family’s history, our childlike sense of right and wrong or even the laws of the land.
Breathing life into any of these functions is a simple matter of will. We must look into our hearts, bring the dragon forth and slay said dragon. Whether it is in the mind or the heart, the dragon remains to be slain. Our lives are so short that is not so easy to realize the significance of this effort. Many set this task aside, hiding behind the trappings of our times which include greed, exuberance and a false sense of self.
Death resolves all of this and legacy remains as the only record of our efforts. Many feel that their children are there legacy which literally taken is true. However, who these children are and what they go forth in life with will truly determine your “self” in this world. Our greatest record keepers become the generations well past ours. How we are regarded by those closest to us shows us our future.
What comes around goes around is what they always say and so when we consider the past and the present it is always our past that we judge against the virtue of our present, good or bad. Bolt upright, wide awake, in the middle of the day is when my past indiscretions… violence against the heart from long dormant dragons of the psyche tear against my heart the most. This is not simply a dream. This is reality reborn in thoughts… daydreams that capture those moments of the greatest regret.
Guilt of all that you have done and known to have been done. All things that you believe in your heart that you have done or believe that you could have done. Things that you have conceived, believed or event thought in fantasy. Thoughts conspiring in a living dream of shame, anger and frustration which ultimately results in guilt which translates immediately to insecurity and concern. A lack of confidence is formed and from that comes all the other sense of dissent.
When the first crack is made is hard to determine. Is it when we break our initial mold of conformance and begin to ask questions of faith and physicality? Is it the confusion over our convergence from child to young adult? The tumult you think… from young adult to maturity? Or is it at a later time when it is no longer a story that only includes yourself and a cast of thousands to you and a smaller cast of you and the family you create through marriage and family?
My wager says that life truly begins when it is no longer your own. That it begins with a greater group of you plus one, two, three, four and extends into the millennia of kinship. There is no end to the responsibility that comes from a true commitment to family. Your strength and certainly your weakness certainly come from those that live in our own garden.
Your trust and your vulnerability can only be considered at their highest when you are at the point beyond the point of no return. That point where your life is not yours and the terms set forth are met with personal exuberance and joy unmatched in all human experience. There is no greater strength for any individual than the faith of children in their parents. For the Dad, it is all about Security in personal safey, Finance and the promise of opportunity in the future.
So……… here I sit. A Dad. A Dad in 2008. A Dad concerned that my children will have neither Financial or emotional security in their lives. This is the same old story that Dad’s for thousands of years have told. In life there are always challenges. No matter the time,… B.C., A.D., VJ Day, Y2K or whatever is next, we all have the same concern.
We realize that life is pain and celebration, that only those that can drive forward in spite of clear and evident adversity achieve success of note and that even those that succeed can be destined to live in anonymity of their grandeur. Leadership is the loneliest regard. Only those who impart towards the greatest good realize that the reward of leadership is a false destiny. That first the leader, upon sucesss, is lauded for his time… then later he is crucified for his commitment.
Success is simply put “where preparation meets opportunity”. Reality says that you cannot prepare for each and every opportunity and either you pursue the preparation or the opportunity. Balance can only be achieved with the help of others. Family first and foremost, but we are then required to seek out the souls of those who share our own special flavor of faith. We call them friends, we call them colleagues, mostly we call them by their first names.
We hope upon hopes that those we bring into the garden do not bring death, famine or worst of all living failure with them. This faith in those among us becomes what we call business. Business is dirty, violent, good, successful, rocky, trending upward, trending downward, dependent on this, dependent on that and mostly “just business”. Nothing personal mind you, “just business”.
Well kids, the wheels have fallen off the wagon. The Barbarians are at the gate. This lonely soldier is pissed off. I have had enough and I just can’t take any more. It’s not funny. It is not amusing… and it is not acceptable.
I think the difference between myself and the average dumb ass punk on the street is absolutely nill. All that I want to do at this point is hunt down the evil bastards who were party to the crime, break their bodies and their will such that they never bring this terror to anyone else. That they live to have that opportunity is optional.
There is a new code of the West my friends. Police have become beauracrats, patsies for “project funding”, program reform and general pussiness. Breaking the code is simple. @!$%# the Police! The Sheriff is simply a budgeted figurehead with no real ties to the community they live in.
It’s time to take the law back into the hands of the people. The fathers and mothers of our community that truly have a stake in what happens in our lives. When else can we truly say what matters than when we are protecting our own? This is our predicament. How do we go forward? Is it simply to trust in our Government as our forefathers or have our forefathers ever actually trusted our Government?
Our goals are clearly not the same. Status quo means stagnation and failure in these circles.
When it was said popularly years ago that “Greed is good.” then I think it is clearer now what that truly meant. The greed of the few with the greatest goodness to themselves should gather unto themselves all that they can to protect what they have. This quickly translates to “Kill them all and let God sort it out” and makes the most sense compared to what we see today.
Our country was and is built on the belief that in the times of greatest difficulty and strife that we should band together as brothers and sisters and fight for freedom to preserve our way of life for our next and future generations in order that they continue our struggle for freedom from tyranny and absolute leadership. Further, that we elect in a Democratic process those that will sacrifice all of themselves for the good of the multitudes.
“Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country.” All well and good when your country is “for the people and by the people” but the opportunity falls flat when put in the face of leadership that is more dedicated to themselves than to the people they lead.
When these that are meant for greatness choose the path of pettiness and thievery then we have to say to ourselves, “Are we not all products of our experience and our lineage. Do we not learn from our experience and our instincts? Are we learning more about rape, violence and destruction than we are about the virtues of solidarity, temperance and faith? When do we fight back? When do we break down the walls of futility and waste? When do we build again? How do we determine a future that makes sense for our children?
It is a simple formula for success for our future. Take the fear that we all now have in our hearts, put it into a fortress of strength to protect us all and lean forward taking step by step towards the light of our future. Each step then crushing all those opponents of virtue and through the weight of our collective mass, forcing down the pressure to fail and to accept a fate less than the greatness of promise that our spectacular Democracy allows.
We have the right. We have the power. It is simply a matter of exercising it.
